Nial Funchion's Blog
May 27, 2008
There is a sense of urgency within me to explain the lack of movement on this BLOG in relation to the 4 month/Guinness World Record swim scheduled for June 1st with an alternate date of August 1st.
From the first steps toward this event 18 months ago life has been at a sprints pace. 18 months seemed to be a timely window to figure out, set up, and implement the tools to capture the essence of an event that was more of a metaphor than an athletic event, a very intangible “animal” to capture to say the least.
Personally as I went forward into those very uncomfortable places in my own life I seemed to be “rolling the dice” on many levels hoping to get into the water and tell a story. In essence the Journey was simple in form but as it turned out extremely difficult to line up within the time frame that I allowed.
As June 1st approaches please be compassionate in your critique. I will be unable to enter the water this year. I feel like an “Old Friend” has gone away. For me the swim was an example to authenticate a coach’s voice, a conversation captured on this BLOG. It is difficult to say good-bye to this friend. We formed a bond in the months together. At moments this swim carried me and at the same time made me cry.
It was sometimes very difficult to tell if this swim was friend or foe. Many decisions had to be made; risk had to be accepted, with no possible way to predict the outcome. In those moments I always chose “forward” and danced with the mysteries, the Journey. Life kept on rolling and I kept on choosing, living.
If you are following this BLOG post….thanks. Know this; that at times I feel this effort was a failure. It is a horrible thought that sometimes creeps into my mind executing my soul my spirit. Although momentarily it is a painful place to live but choosing is living and part of the program, a human inconvenience, which is a consequence to creating a life worth living.
It was an enormous task to coordinate a 1000 mile swim. At times mistakes were made ignorance leading the way. I kicked and screamed, cried and pouted, and appeared ugly to my self. There was no hiding place. It was a roller coaster of emotions, drama and stress. There was definitely a feel of a forging process. The fuel that always kept me in the game was provided by glimmers of Hope that would appear unexpectedly and right on time every time. During this entire period if anyone inquired as to how it was going I would always say, “Business as usual”. This was more of a sarcastic umbrella response that seemed accurate. The story, “The Journey” is a metaphor to life’s victories, remarkable discoveries, and sometimes painful difficulties….“business as usual”.
I am thinking of this as a victory. Give it a whirl, point your finger, call your shot and drag others along for the ride. You may appear that you failed. I say impossible! You are calling your shot, taking a risk, and sharing your life. It is a very personal gift that is authentic and vulnerable. Be the warrior in your life and example for others to follow, take on the roll of “Coach” somewhere and we will walk together.
As for the present moment I personally need to EXHALE and HEAL. I will continue to BLOG, although sporadically. I will work toward developing a comfortable voice to share and describe more accurately the evolution of the “swim” and the events that lead to its postponement. I need to do this…
I will take June, July, and August, to find equilibrium in my life which will involve contacting a list of individuals to repay their financial generosity. The 15th of September I will have a more thorough and accurate explanation that I want and need to present.
In the meantime, view with compassion and you will be worth your weight in gold, a rare commodity to the human race. Share some of your own life; be vulnerable, authentic and real. “Throw it out there, take a risk and roll the dice”. Maybe start small and build up with fear guiding you through foggy times. Choose a direction that is unreasonable, one that cannot be explained on paper. You may come up short and think you failed and it will be a painful but I recommend this direction……You will have lived, if not now… When?
Thank You for “Walking with Me”.
Nial.
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Lately I feel that steamroller moving at a high rate of speed right on my heels, as I am sure others do also ... It is a battle to stay ahead, to dream, to go against the current, to ENVISION, to see your life as something to investigate and get into to see where it fits.
It is a battle. For me I see it just like that. And for every moment I act disciplined, I feel I earned the right to continue.
The story started ... it is right now. These are the moments that I am talking about, this is what I am trying to capture: the faith and frustrations right now.
Swimming around Lake Michigan makes no sense. It is totally unreasonable. It doesn't really fit into the life of a newly married guy. It causes tensions. This is a GREAT symbol of the obstacles of our lives.
I think of the possibilities before us -- the stories that lay waiting to be nudged alive by a connection between spirits -- and suddenly the water is not so cold, suddenly the effort doesn't seem so great, suddenly the lake seems very appropriate ... almost not big enough!!!
That is how I feel; that is what grabbed me. It is a beautiful battle, life.
Nial Funchion
